Mum's Last Wish

I was so excited to be spending the weekend with my boyfriend Brendan at the coast. We have been inseparable since meeting and are soul mates. At the time I kept glancing over at him as he seemed to be acting differently - quiet and clumsy. “Are you O.K” I asked “yeah babe I am fine “he replied.

When we arrived at the coast it was such a beautiful sunny day, the beach was not one that I had been to before and it was gorgeous. Before hopping out of the car Brendan asked me to wait while he grabbed a picnic basket from the boot. “Oh how sweet! He is a keeper” I thought to myself. Brendan was always surprising me and is such a romantic. We were having a lovely champagne picnic lunch on the beach when suddenly he was down on one knee and asked me to marry him!! What bliss I have never been so happy in my life.

I have three children from a previous relationship and it means the world to me that they all love him as much as I do, so it did not take me long to answer him! “Of course I’ll be your wife” I said. After all the excitement home life went back to normal, Brendan also has a child from a previous relationship so we are like the Brady bunch. Life couldn’t really get any better. My friends and family were happy that we were so happy together and wedding plans soon began. We had found the perfect church and I had found my dream wedding dress.

But it all seemed such a fuzz after that. A few weeks later my Aunty committed suicide. Brendan and I travelled interstate to support our grieving family and pay our respects. On returning home I received a phone call advising me that the store I had purchased my wedding dress from was going into liquidation – I had lost my deposit and my dream wedding dress. It was such a difficult time and then a week later I found a lump in my left breast. I had I biopsy and in December 2014 I was told I had breast cancer. I felt so hopeless. Two days later I found out I was expecting a baby.

The overwhelming fear and emotional roller coaster hit both of us. We sought advice but were getting very different medical opinions. Most specialist advice suggested termination and starting cancer treatment immediately. Brendan and I feel that a baby is a blessing and a gift, so we were determined to keep it. We found medical professionals that supported our decision and were happy to help us on the long journey we were then starting. In the first trimester I had three surgeries: a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, all lymph nodes removed and treating an infection. At the first ultra sound we were both so excited, and hoping for some good news to wash over all that was happening, but unfortunately that didn’t happen. Concerns were raised about scan measurements, my age (39) and they could not find a nose bone and these could all be considered signs of a missing chromosome. Again most advice from specialists was to terminate the pregnancy. Brendan and I remained determined and with one last (very expensive) blood test which had to be sent to California the two week wait for the results began. It felt like a life time. To our surprise the results came back that we were going to have a perfect healthy baby boy. We were overjoyed. I started chemotherapy (chemo) in second trimester of the pregnancy. I felt every time I went in for chemo it would be doing harm to my baby, it was so nerve racking. We were told that if I did not start treatment ASAP I would not be around to see our baby. The thought of that nearly killed me there on the spot. I have triple positive breast cancer and it is proving to be extremely aggressive. We decided to have a surprise wedding at our baby shower. All of a sudden it did not matter about a big church and the dream wedding dress. All that mattered was to marry my soul mate in front of family and friends. We got married in May 2015 at home in our kitchen dining area. It was perfect for me being 6 months pregnant and undergoing chemo at the time.

One month later I celebrated my 40th birthday in hospital and then my sons 21st. I was so depressed that I was unable to share this special time with my son. My family kept reassuring me that it was all going to be O.K. All I could think was I MUST FIGHT THIS I can’t imagine saying goodbye to my family. Soon we were in the high risk foetal medicine unit to talk to Dr Sethna and her team. She would run ultra-scans after every chemo, or if I was feeling down or worried, she would do a scan just to make me feel better. I don’t think our baby would be here if it was not for all the help and love from Dr Sethna and her team. They organised for me to have our baby prematurely at 34 weeks. I hated the idea of that - I wanted the baby to spend as much time as he needed to and have the best start in life. But I know they did it that way so I could start treatment ASAP. Two days before I was due to go in to hospital to be induced, I experienced pain like child birth but much worse. I was rushed to hospital thinking the worst possible scenarios. After 12 hours of trying to get the pain under control with all sorts of pain killers I had an epidural inserted in my lower back. I was finally pain free and after further diagnosis they determined the pain was caused by a kidney stone. Oh my!! All I can say is child birth is so much easier!! They then gave me medicine to bring on labour. After two days and several doctors trying to break my water suddenly an older doctor with 40 years’ experience entered the room and told the wife on duty, if she broke my water she would be putting the baby in danger. What a Doctor. I was then scheduled for a Caesarean section the next day. I was awake for the whole procedure and was so happy to hold our son at last. He was so perfect weighing in at 2.5kg. We named him Seth after Dr Sethna. Following the birth I had a few more surgeries installing stints and taking them out, then onto some stronger chemo treatments and some new scans. One night I experienced some unusual pain in my back, but I did not think anything off it and went to bed. Oh my!! I woke up in so much pain I could not walk or even hold my arms above my head. Brendan called an ambulance and I was rushed off to hospital, but after a couple of tests and some more pain killers they sent me home. The next morning we had an appointment with our oncologist who suggested “maybe you have slept wrong you should go and see a chiropractic doctor” I was in shock!!!! Brendan and I went directly to talk to Dr Lee who started scans straight away. The results show I have bone cancer now. So I’m writing my story as I sit in oncology…..

I am raising money to travel, build memories with my new born son, husband and kids and to help with all the overwhelming medical bills.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story