Trying to get out of suffering and do some good.

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About

The Darkest places in Hell are reserved for those who don't take action, and I didn't, so now I am.

I don't know how to write this or if it is worth your time listening to sad stories, but I am tired of the weight.
2018 I was deeply in love, and that love turned out to be very violent and hateful, for reasons none of the friends and myself know why, not knowing was extremely painful and lost.
I was beaten in public, humiliated, and got to the point my (our) friend was fighting the knife out of my hand, I was not being dramatic, I just turned off and was over it all.
This is more painful to write than I thought and it is not healthy so I am going to skip some bad parts, somethings are not worth bringing back up even to fix current problems.
I closed my business that I had just started, felt like I could not serve my clients what they deserved.
Judge it or not, I am a Clinical Therapist and Trainer, but yes even we get hurt and are not invulnerable to attacks.
I was honest with my clients, they were very beautiful and caring in return, helping me in the way I had helped them, and I continued to support them when they needed it but I was not on my best.
So from 2018 to September 2020 I lived a cycle of loss, hurt, failure, nightmares (every day, yes) and illness, my teeth crumbled (happens to me from trauma), lost my short term memory (getting better now as I work on it) and either slept non-stop to avoid the pain or stayed awake until I would be sick.
I don't know how this funding thing works so maybe I am not suppose to write this here, but its what happened so that's it.
Over this time I lost all my income, transport and had to sell a lot.
I tried to avoid government payments, but that put me into massive debt on cards and losing the business was expensive.
I did try, I tried to restart, I was a really hard worker in my life but could not remember what I did the day before, and it just hurt so damn much everyday, its hard, I hate to use the excuse of PTSD but it hurts.
I come from an extremely violent upbringing and it made me tough, but I opened my heart and messed up.

Last year in September I really started to make some good changes, and I used each change to work on the next.
I was stupid and took out my super $10k but I put it towards getting myself fixed, I went to my therapy trainer, studied again, started helping people again.
Yeah I messed up but I am good at what I do.
Coming from a background of violence and poverty taught me a lot to help others.

And now 3 years later, damn its been 3 years!
I am so much better, still cant remember writing the hundreds of pages and therapy systems I wrote over that time, I mean I actually don't remember writing it but its on my computer, but I am better.
Don't want my heart touched, nor anywhere else really but I do what I can do now.
Currently my days are filled with self-therapy and I am trying to re-build my business and a not for profit organisation to help people get back into the living from trauma....jsut like I have done.
But my problem is I have so much debt now I cant afford to get a clean slate, I try to move further but the creditors are hounding me, I have so much debt I am only paying off interest and its over $1000 per month....plus all my normal expenses and trying to build this business back up.
I am speaking to advisors and doing what jobs I can but having been out of the work force for so long is not ideal.
Ok this has turned out to be just a whinging letter.

I say I messed up, because I did and even though I am not to blame for what was done to me, I take responsibility of having not taken care of myself over this time.
And my apology is to others who have. suffered and I was not there for them, or anyone.
I was self focused in my own pain, I am sorry.

The money I am asking for is purely to get out of debt and to repair my teeth the have crumbled, both only from the time I was suffering.
I will do the work to start the business and start the not for profit organisation, I will do the work to buy my own car and pay my friend back who helped me and took the knife away from me.
I am asking for help with the debt and health issues I accumulated over the time I was hurting.
The amount of $54,124 is only for this, not a dollar elsewhere.
Sorry for the pitiful letter, thank you for your time.

Fundraising For

Daniel Bahnemann

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Daniel Bahnemann


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Campaign Creator

Daniel

Brisbane City, QLD



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SINCE Jul 2021

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$0 raised

TARGET $53,000

Please support this cause

$
AUD

Fundraising For

Daniel Bahnemann

Funds Banked To

Daniel Bahnemann

D

Campaign Creator

Daniel

Brisbane City, QLD

SINCE Jul 2021

0 

Donations