When You Hit Rock Bottom With No Where Else To Go!

Hi my name is Ange and yesterday I hit rock bottom with no where else to go. I'm a survivor of child abuse, an abusive relationships and if I could change the world in helping others and encouraging people to pay if forward and if that means my first thing is to ask for help for me.

I'm usually a fighter and a survivor and can get through anything however I've hit rock bottom  and now I'm begging for help for the first time in my life.

When I thought life couldn't get any worse 3 years ago I found out my oldest who had his whole life a head of him and he had been nominated Chef Apprentice of the year had fallen a victim from peer pressure to having an addiction to meth (ICE). There was no help for him so I had to give up working full time to save my child.  My families whole life fell apart that day and I was heartbroken but I had to save my child.

So for 3 years I have struggled to save my child and try and make sure he could get some kind of normal life back. If you know anything about ICE and the rages and fury that comes with withdrawals then you will understand the hell I have been through.  To understand a bit about ICE is it completely damages parts of the brain and my son who was a loving caring intelligent gifted child no matter will never be the same and will always be fighting the addiction.  My son is clean now and doing okay but due to the stress and pushing through dealing with him for so long I bottled everything of my own up inside and it's all come out and 2 weeks ago I had a breakdown.

I also have a younger son Haydon.  He's one of the kindest, loving and most giving person I know and he has had to grow up a lot faster than other kids his age.  He has watched his family been torn through hell and back.  For Haydon who suffers from really bad anxiety his life has come with a lot of challenges missing out on a lot of love and attention while I was dealing with his brother but no matter what he has always been there for me when I've needed him even when I was at my lowest he kept on being a loving teenager who left school to get an apprenticeship to help financially.

One of Haydon's hobbies is gaming it is what has kept him occupied during some tough times.  When he got his first few pays he saved everything to get a gaming laptop.  This was his escape and his way of dealing with his anxiety.  This week when I think there is no where left to go as I thought I was at rock bottom I was struggling financially so Haydon gave me his laptop to sell, to help put food on our table and pay the rent. I put it on Gumtree and signed up for Paypal thinking that this was the safest way to sell it.

When a person asked me to buy it I was happy they told me that the transaction would be done through Paypal and once it was approved I would get an email explaining how to send it. So i received an email saying the payment was pre-approved and once I send the laptop through tracking post it would be released. Now this email had all paypal logos and the email address service@paypal.com. So I sent the laptop on its way and provided a tracking number. Only to find out that it was all a scam I had lost my sons laptop and no money it broke me I was devastated I had to tell Haydon.  I thought I was more on to things and would never get scammed.

I spent hours with the police saying that there was no chance of retrieving anything. I had to break my sons heart I had lost his laptop and all his hard earned money and I was also now short rent and no food.

I'm asking from the bottom of my heart that if you could help me out and my son I would be internally grateful. I have never begged for anything in my life but all I want to do is die at the moment. 
Why should you help? Because I know you don't know much about me or Haydon, but if you were struggling I would hope someone would be there to help you.  I'm in the process of building a blog which is set round helping teenagers in need here in Queensland, Australia because if you live in Australia you would know that there is a major problem with teenagers being out of control due to drugs.

I'm hoping that you can find it in your help to help someone in need as sometimes it feels like to the world is against us and that's how it truly feels to me at the moment no knowing how I'm going to pay the late rent or even put food on the table for my family.  Generally I never complain and always remain positive and there to help anyone in need.  This is a humble plea for help and we all need to put a roof over our head and food on the table right?

After I have gotten through this disaster I will endeavour to pay it forward.  The money raised will go to help me replace Haydon's laptop and pay our rent.  The rest will go to a charity on the Gold Coast which helps people overcome the stigma of mental illness Living.org.  I will be humbled by whatever you can donate.  If there was any other way I wouldn't be asking but I don't have any family support .  I'm not asking for a hand out I'm asking for a hand up ... Please help me!!! Every cent will help. 

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support.  Please donate if you wish. Please refrain from negative or judgemental commentary.

#itaintweaktospeak


LOVE THE ONE'S YOU HAVE, CHERISH THE TIME YOU HAVE!!